Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why did my mother make you get naked?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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