He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
