it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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