never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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