I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
