i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
