And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i would punch a child for taco bell
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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