You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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