gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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