And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
