hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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