1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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