where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
