just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize