College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize