Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
