We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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