If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
tell me about the eggs
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