One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
