he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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