come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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