All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
