Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
