I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
