No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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