how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
