I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
