The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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