Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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