Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
