I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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