I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
