We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
