Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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