i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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