apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
is wine microwaveable?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
