I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
