so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
