can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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