no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
