Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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