He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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