We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Is that strawberry winking at me??
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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