literally had 100 drinks last night.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
