Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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