You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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