Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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