bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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