Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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