I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My cat gives me a boner
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
