Screwed.edu
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I want a musical about memes.
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