Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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