Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize