You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
