It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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