a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
so much tequila, so little girl.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
