weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
