UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
