MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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