it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
