Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
